


Promise Me a Place

by punkgrump



Series: Memories of You On Memory Foam [3]
Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: Everyone Needs A Hug, Homophobia, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Post-Azkaban, basically they start talking abt their past relationship, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-22
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-06-10 00:29:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6930649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punkgrump/pseuds/punkgrump
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They were forced to become a sad story of past lovers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Promise Me a Place

**Author's Note:**

> im a post azkaban wolfstar angst whore lmao

Sirius staying with Remus for his first few weeks out of Azkaban was expected. It was pleasant to have somebody to come home to and despite the added expenses of food going quicker, making dinner for two was nice. It was the casual annoyances that were nicest. Remus's clothing disappearing and reappearing a few days later on Sirius. Finding Sirius on the couch, asleep and dead to the world. The little things, the fun things.

Though, such a time of joy was cut away by the spontaneity of worry on Remus's part. Coming joyful things, came memories. Coming memories, came worries. There was nothing he missed more, but it felt like betrayal. He was supposed to be able to hold Sirius, climb into bed with him, run fingers along his now terribly pale skin. Then, that was all forcefully ripped away and scrapped entirely by an old friend. They were forced to become a sad story of past lovers.

The last twelve years for Sirius consisted of what to say to Remus. Longing for his touch, distinct scent, and rough, pale lips. He couldn't wait, this was supposed to be easy. Once presented the opportunity, the flow of such words got stuck, asphyxiating him. It was as if they'd been forced to start over. No more of the thin hands curling into his rib cage, embracing him.

Neither of them could tell if the subject was being ignored because it was such a loaded topic and they couldn't find the words, or if they no longer took interest. It was only mentioned when Remus was outside to accompany Sirius as he smoked, and Sirius broke.

He sighed, dropping his cigarette to the ground, grinding it into the dirt with his shoe. "Are we just not going to talk about it?"

Remus was taken aback by the tone he couldn't place. "Talk about what?"

"Before it completely went to shit. We never got closure." Sirius pushed up his sleeves, since they were always so long on him. "What exactly are we?"

"Sirius, I- Don't know. I didn't think you were interested." It was obvious that Lupin was trying to not raise his voice or grow frustrated.

"Well, I am. Where do we go now?"

"I don't know. I need some time, okay, Sirius?" Vain attempts to keep calmest were made.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Sirius's eyebrows pressed together.

"It's not like I have any idea where to go from here, either." Remus huffed.

"Did you not think of it at all?"

"Yes. Merlin, yes." Remus bit down on his inner lip. "It's almost like we're ex-lovers, though, and..." Trailing off.

"And what?"

"And most people don't know what to do when an ex lover of twelve years pops up at your door again."

"You see what you want from there."

"I told you, I don't know what I want. One part of me just wants to back to how it was and love you with my whole heart. The other wants to repress it." His words grew more rushed. "I'm already a fucking _monster,_ why should I give them another reason to hate me?"

"Why would they hate you for that?" Sirius's features grew angrier.

"Muggles are so much more advanced in accepting people, and we both know it." He sighed. "But, when muggles are still so discriminated against in same-sex relationships, collectively, wizards are ten times worse."

"Why would you worry about that?" Sirius's features softened.

"I'm not like you, Sirius, I care far too much about how people think of me."

"I know, Moons, I know you do."

Remus closed his eyes, slightly chuckling. "Still stuck on the nicknames, are you?"

"Of course." Sirius smiled wide, reminiscent of when they were younger. "But about-"

Remus's smile faded but his features weren't sad. "Let's take it slow." He nodded so softly, heading back inside, leaving Sirius to think.


End file.
